Essay
by dreamflower02
Summary: During Pippin's stay in Buckland, he's being tutored by Merry's Uncle Dinodas, and he's given what he thinks is a difficult assignment. (Originally written in 2006) Book-verse, one-shot.


[**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This story takes place when Pippin is 15 (The equivalent of a human 10-year-old). In my Shire, Ferumbras had abdicated as Thain that year, and Paladin and Eglantine had sent the children to stay with relatives until they could get settled in the Great Smials, as they did not wish to expose the children to the gossip and unpleasantness there, until Paladin had managed to get the Tooks used to the idea of him as Thain.]

**ESSAY**

Pippin sighed noisily out of his nostrils, and jiggled his foot. Then he began to twirl his quill between his fingers as he looked longingly out the round window, and the sounds of laughter and shouting coming in from outdoors. He could hear Merry's voice. The lads were playing kick-the-ball. He put the quill down, and picked it up again. Then he tried to balance it on one finger. He avoided looking down at the pristine piece of parchment in front of him, not a single mark on it.

He sighed noisily out of his nostrils again.

"Peregrin."

He jumped, dropping the quill on the table. He looked up with a guilty, yet winsome expression, widening his green eyes to their most appealing expression.

There was a chuckle. "No, Peregrin. That will not work on me. I am not so soft-hearted as Frodo nor as busy as your father nor as eager for your company as Meriadoc. One page. One full page-and I have given you a good deal of leeway as to your topic. I am quite prepared to keep you here until teatime if I must. And if you do not complete it by teatime today, you will have to come to me tomorrow."

Pippin swallowed. Merry's Great-Uncle Dinodas was _hard_. Tears sprang to his eyes, quite genuine tears of frustration. He'd never had to write an essay before.

Dinodas shook his head ruefully, and placed a gentle hand on Pippin's unruly curls. "I am not being cruel, Peregrin. When you return to your family, and are living in the Great Smials, you will most likely be taking your lessons from your Cousin Isembrand, or perhaps from your Cousin Fortinbard, and your lessons will be of the sort that will be helping you to learn how to be Thain someday. It is high time you began to do essays. You are far beyond the childish lessons you have had up until now, and you are more than intelligent enough to do the work."

"But I don't like to write things out. My thoughts get all tangled up when I try to write them down." Pippin much preferred talking to writing.

"This is the first one for you, lad, and I'll not be too hard on you. But you must put yourself to the discipline of actually doing the writing. Now, the topic is 'family'-of which you have plenty. If you will actually put ink to parchment, I think that you can easily write about it." He patted the disconsolate teen on the shoulder. "Now, I am going to go over there and check Ilberic's lessons," he gestured to his armchair by the hearth, "and when I look up, I expect to see you actually _writing_."

"Yes, sir," Pippin sighed.

Dinodas went over and sat. Pippin chewed the tip of his quill for a moment, and then dipped it into the ink.

_I have a lot of family. I have my father and mother and three sisters. My father is Paladin Took, and my mother is Eglantine Took, who used to be a Banks before she married my father. My sisters are Pearl, Pimpernel and Pervinca. We call Pimpernel 'Pimmie' and Pervinca we call 'Vinca', but we just call Pearl 'Pearl'."_

The ink ran out. Pippin dipped his quill, and when he drew it from the inkpot a drop spilled on the table. He looked about for the small bit of blotting paper used for such things, and spotted it on the floor by his chair. Rather than bend over to pick it up, he began to try and grasp it with his toes. He almost had it, when he heard a throat clearing. He sighed, bent over, picked it up, and wiped up the ink from the table. Then he had to dip the quill again.

_We used to live on a farm at Whitwell. But now my father has to go be Thain and live at the Great Smials. So right now I am living here at Brandy Hall, and so is Pervinca. But Pearl and Pimpernel went to stay with our Aunt Dee and Uncle Longo. They are not really our aunt and uncle. But Aunt Dee is Dianthus that used to be a Banks and she is my mother's second cousin twice removed on the Banks side. So she is really my second cousin three times removed. I wonder why they say cousins are removed? Why do they remove them? They are still cousins. They could say something else besides removed couldn't they? Removed means taken away. I think it rather silly to say it that way."_

He looked at the last few sentences and frowned. They didn't seem to fit somehow. Oh well, they were taking up space on the page.

_"Anyway I have lots of real aunts and uncles and cousins. But my two best cousins are Meriadoc Brandybuck, who is my first cousin, as my father and his mum are brother and sister, as well as my third cousin from great-great-grandfather Gerontius, and Frodo Baggins who is my third cousin once removed on Frodo's Baggins side and my second cousin once removed on Frodo's Brandybuck side. Best cousins are good to have."_

Once more he had to dip the pen. He looked at the paper and squinted. He had to say more things about Merry and Frodo, and he had used up more than half the parchment. He started writing smaller.

_"They are better than friends because they are family. But they are also better than brothers because brothers fight all the time. I have noticed that. My Banks cousins Cado and Clovis who are not best cousins at all because they are mean to me fight all the time and they are brothers. One time I saw them have a real fight with hitting and everything. So do Doderic and Iberic. So do Mosco and Moro Burrows. Fight I mean. But not with hitting."_

Pippin shook his head. He did not like to think about Cado and Clovis. He didn't like them much, which made him feel bad. They _were_ his cousins after all, and it wasn't their fault that they were not as good as Merry or Frodo. He looked at the parchment, and began to make his letters much smaller.

_"Merry and me never fight. Merry only has ever been angry with me twice. He only gets angry at me if I am acting like a fool and get myself in real trouble so I try not to do that much though it is hard because I am a Took. But sometimes he does get annoyed at me. I get annoyed at him because he always worries about me all the time. But I don't think I could ever be angry with him. I love to be with Merry because he always knows how I feel and sometimes he even knows what I am thinking before I say it. I am always safe when I am with my Merry."_

He stopped, bit his lip, and began to write even smaller.

_"Merry is very clever. He knows almost everything there is to know about how to do things. And he always shows me how."_

Pippin stopped for a moment. Perhaps it would be best not to go into too much detail about some of the things Merry had taught him, such as the best way to raid the larder, or how to make an apple pie bed, or that time they had switched the sugar for the salt at second breakfast once. No, he really didn't think Merry's Uncle Dinodas needed to know those things. Perhaps he had better get on with Frodo. There really was not a lot of room left.

_"My cousin Frodo is very old for a best cousin, but it doesn't matter because he is the best hobbit in the Shire. I am not the only one who thinks that. Cousin Bilbo used to say that, and it would make Frodo go all red. And Merry says anyone who really knows Frodo knows that and Sam Gamgee agrees. Sam is not a cousin he is a friend. And a gardener. But he agrees with Merry and so do I."_

Hmm. Pippin looked at what he'd written, and pursed his lips. There was only about a inch of parchment left at the bottom, but he had more to say about Frodo. He really did not think he could write any smaller. He continued all the way down, until some of the letters were in danger of finishing on the table at the bottom; then he turned the parchment sideways, and began to write up the long edge, as small as he could.

_"Anyway Frodo is very wise. He knows all kinds of things like two kinds of Elf languages and what happened in the First Age and how to make the best noodles and cheese. And stuffed mushrooms. But the best thing is that Frodo always likes to be with me and he doesn't mind that he is grown up and I am not. I do not think Frodo has ever been angry with me but sometimes I make him sad if I do things without thinking first and that is worse than angry."_

Pippin stopped and carefully put his thumb on the ink. Still wet. He turned the parchment completely upside down, and continued.

_"Anyway that is why I love my best cousins. I guess other people have best cousins too but mine really are the best and -"_ he turned the parchment once more and continued down the other edge,_ "so I feel sorry for them to not have Merry and Frodo. And now I have to stop as there is-"_ He bit his lip. There is no more room. He sighed. He hoped Uncle Dinodas would not be upset that he didn't finish the sentence. But, and his face lit up at the thought, at least he had written one full page.

He grinned. He'd never done that before. It wasn't nearly as hard as he thought it would be.

But he would still rather talk about it. You never run out of room when you are talking.


End file.
